When I think about my desire to learn to live a healthier lifestyle and what sorts of things make that difficult, my friends come to mind.

Layla and I– in starting this blog– have developed a mutual trust. We, in addition to a couple of my close friends, can be supportive and keep our own emotions and struggles out of the picture when we’re talking about the others’ issues with food and exercise. Other than that, though, my friends are often my worst enemy when it comes to food.

First, there are the friends that don’t take this whole journey seriously. I get up the nerve to tell them that I’m trying to be healthy and that hey, I’d rather not go out to eat every time we hang out and that I’d prefer to use whole wheat pasta when we cook together– and then they pressure me to do otherwise. Why can’t these people be supportive? I definitely respect their choices to eat as they please and to not pay so much attention to health (I think that it’s a shame, but I don’t try and change their minds), so why can’t they respect my goals? I have to take responsibility for my own actions, I know that. Still, it would be so much easier to avoid *food disasters* if my friends were encouraging. I have enough issues with self-control and having friends that essentially want me to lose this battle with myself– well, it sucks.

Then, there are my friends that are also either dieting or trying to be healthier. You would think that we would be a support network for one another, and like I said, with a few close friends, that’s true. Still, I have several friends that just don’t feel like we’re ‘in it together.’ These friends resent it when I’m making healthy choices and they aren’t; this results in them pressuring me to ‘cave in.’ One of the stories that really, really sticks out in my mind is something that happened several months ago. I was completely healthy and ate well all day, and then went out for a night with a few girlfriends. We ended up drinking a lot and I told myself that I would *not* eat a second dinner (pizza, etc.), which is a habit that I picked up back in college when I drank wayyy too much. My friends inevitably ended up at the pizza place and I waited quietly, without ordering. My ‘friend’, also a health conscious person, literally waved her pizza in my face and said ‘you know you want to order some! just do it!’ It was so obvious to me that she just wanted me to join in her indulgence, and to this day, I *still* resent her for being so selfish. It was difficult enough to be pretty tipsy and to make a healthy choice (after having made an unhealthy one), and she didn’t care. She just wanted to ‘go down’ together.

I doubt that I’ll change these people, but I need to learn how to deal with them. Who can I ask for support from, and how? Ugh.