Today’s Eats started out nicely..

Breakfast:

  • Cornflakes
  • Chai tea with skim milk and sweet-n-low

Snack:

  • Apple

Huge Freaking Disaster happened like this:

  • Today was a special occasion, so I decided to bake cookies when I got home.
  • Began to bake and didn’t eat any of the ingredients, only licked the spoon once. Harmless enough.
  • Got a call from a boy that disturbed me.
  • Ate a glob of dough and wallowed in self-pity
  • Cookies finished, ate 4.  They’re huge, by the way. Huge.

After Huge Freaking Disaster, Day finished like this:

Post Disaster Snack:

  • Avocado on half of a whole wheat pita

Dinner:

  • tuna with light mayo
  • whole wheat pita
  • baked potato and margarine, no skin

Alcohol:

  • 1/2 bottle of Merlot. Oops again.

Thoughts:

Today was not a success story.  I would like to be able to bake cookies without ruining my ‘healthy lifestyle’ because I got an upsetting phone call.  The real issue here, of course, is my emotional eating.  For as long as I could remember, I have either deprived myself of food or been overindulgent in order to deal with my emotions.  My first instinct when I’m upset is to eat something ‘sinful’; my instinct when I’m happy and flying high is to skip a meal and make that high last.  My major, underlying goal is to beat these horrible habits to a pulp.  I need to do some more research re: emotional eating– and how to conquer it.

I need to cut down on the wine.  I’m going to limit myself.  I have to think about what a reasonable number will be.

After the Huge Freaking Disaster, I was really tempted to give up, eat whatever, and call it a day.  I have this problem often– I make an unhealthy choice, and then feel like I’ve already ruined the day.  I had a healthy dinner, but I feel like I should have skipped the wine.  It’s completely irrational to continue to make unhealthy choices just because I’ve made one.  Now, if only I could internalize that.

In short, today was not a success story.  Hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow with good food news and a nice, healthy recipe.

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